Gray Days

It’s advent! It’s a time of waiting. I have been in a long period of waiting. Waiting for some things to change in my life for the better. Maybe I’m waiting for the wrong thing……

The title of my blog comes because it is a gray day outside of my window. It is misting, and visibility out my window doesn’t allow my eye to see very far. There is something about a gray day that seems so melancholy, but beyond the melancholy, gray days seem to afford time for reflection and always bring me to a place where I reflect on God and how He moves in my life. One of the great mysteries to me is how God can be so constant, and sure, and yet not stagnant. Ever felt His presence in the wind? Ever pondered His greatness in a fire? The wind is constantly moving, and a fire never sits still or it dies. These gray days bring me to a place of trust in God’s goodness even though I cannot see very far ahead out my window. It looks so still, and so stagnant, and yet I know that He is with me in the gray days of life, even if I’m waiting a long time.. so just what am I waiting for??

I said in my opening that I’m waiting for some things to change in my life, but what if they never do change? So, then what, what should I be waiting for? I think about this advent season. We have these seasons of the liturgical year that give us the opportunity to reflect on our relationship with God, and with our relationships with others. This time of year, can be so crazy with all the “hustle and bustle” of Christmas shopping, Christmas baking, and shoppers everywhere. It can seem so chaotic at times. And yet, this is nothing of what that first Christmas was…. or was it?? Think about it! It was the year of the census, and Bethlehem was so full that Joseph and Mary couldn’t even find an Inn that had room for them. And yet, in the midst of all the craziness of that time, for one night the world stood still, and in the stillness of that night, a tiny little babe was born who would bare our sins on a cross in 33 short years from his birth.

I always await Christmas with hope and trepidation. Hope, because who doesn’t love to gaze at a newborn, but trepidation because it also causes me to feel deep anguish knowing that that little babe would take my sins on freely by willingly dying on a cross. I gaze at the babe knowing the pain that resides. It doesn’t steal my joy but rather makes me appreciate that little gift of love so much more. We are never going to be free from suffering. We will never have a life free of pain – no, not in this life. But there is hope – hope for those who believe what He said is true. And we get glimpses of all that God has in store for us in the moments of joy. These moments of joy often don’t last forever, but we can count on them to remind us that God has an eternity full of joy for those who trust His promises are true.

So what am I waiting for? I’m waiting for heaven! That’s what I am waiting for – waiting with joyful expectation. The other things I’m waiting for may never come, and yes, it sucks, but I have hope in a God who has good things in store for me. So, as I sit here typing, gazing out at the gray day, I am thankful for this moment to ponder, reflect, and continue to wait. Maybe God has a surprise for me here on earth that I just cannot see. In the meantime, I trust in His goodness for my life as I wait on Him to reveal what He wants to reveal to me.

May we all be filled with joy, and awe at what God has done for each of us. I hope and pray as you are reading this that your Advent waiting is filled with blessings from above so that your Christmas celebration may be filled with God’s touch of the goodness that He has in store for you.